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12 Years A Slave (2013)
Director: Steve McQueen
Starring: Unpronounceable Name Guy, Michael Fassbender
This Movie Is: Everything awkward about American History class

Django Unchained without any of the stuff that made Django Unchained fun to watch. -- The Spork Guy

Pairs Well With: Chrisoph Waltz coming to save the day & Roots

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2LDK (2003 )
Director: Yukihiko Tsutsumi
Starring: Maho Nonami, Eiko Koike
This movie is: Asian, Horror, Violent

2LDK is one hilarious and brutal little gem. Imagine sharing space with someone you hate. Someone who hates you too. How far will you let a person push you before you fight back? A great character study and a wonderful achievement for a film that was shot in one locale, with two actresses, and filmed entirely in eight days. If you enjoy the feature, check out the making of featurette. Its a great sneak peek into independent film making, and gives a better appreciation of what this small film has accomplished and how it ever came to be in the first place. A lot of excessively violent fun! --Schmokin'

Pairs well with: Tarantino

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13: Game of Death (2006)
Director: Chookiat Sakveerakul
Starring: Krissada Sukosol, Achita Sikamana

This Movie is: Foreign, Thriller, Horror-ish

Funny, tense and sometimes, downright disgusting. Our hero is challenged via cell phone to make it through 13 challenges for 100 million Baht. I’m not exactly sure what the exchange rate on Baht is, but it had better buy you plenty of Thai poontang and a “Never Pay Taxes and Get into Heaven Free” card. I would NOT have made it past Challenge #5. I almost couldn’t WATCH it past Challenge #5. But I was glad that I did. -- Mick Finnegan

Pairs well with: Eagle Eye, Saw, Slumdog Millionaire (although that would be a crazy double feature)

No shit: Apparently an American remake is on the way.

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13 Tzameti (2005)
Director: Gela Babluani
Starring: George Babluani, Aurélien Recoing
This Movie is: Foreign, Thriller, the reason there are spoiler alerts

Black and White, Foreign, Neo-Noir, filmschool bullshit. It’s also brilliantly intense and surprising if you stick with it.
-- Mick Finnegan

No Shit: They should remake this movie. Yeah, I said it. It’s a good story that should find a bigger audience than it’s had.
Pairs well with: Memento

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21 Jump Street (2012)
Director: Phil Lord, Chris Miller
Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum
This movie is: A comic re-hash of an old TV show

This pair of directors finally did something funny…aside from that meatball movie for the kids. Did ya like the Charlies Angles parody and that wacky Starsky and Hutch deal? Then this is totally up your dirty back alley. I thought this was going to suck, donkey dicks, but I ended up laughing an awful lot…that is the point of a comedy right? If it makes you laugh its a good one. This was a good one fo-sho. Who knew Channing Tatum was such a physical comedian. Awesome -- Max Heller

Pairs well with: Being in a good mood, Starsky and Hutch

No Shit: The cameos from the original show members are pretty outstanding.

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100 Feet (2008)
Director: Eric Red
Starring: Famke Jannsen, Bobby Canavale and a see through Michael Pare
This movie is: Horror, Haunted House, Damn good

Again I find myself falling in love with a movie no one ever told me about. Famke Jannsen is hot, in the way Barbara Hershey was hot in the Entity. Famke is an abuse survivor who is under house arrest in her old NY brownstone where she killed her husband except, cue the music ,(dun dun dahnnnnn) he's still there. Muahahahaha! Enter ghostly fist punching, flying furniture, throwing down stairs and a super graphic disturbing moment I won't ruin because it shocked even me. Its a sweet little movie you've probably never heard of. The only thing missing was Famke's breasts being plied while she slept, a' la Hershey in The Entity. -- Max Heller

Pairs well with: The Entity, other Eric Red fare such as Near Dark, The Hitcher

No shit: If this movie was made in England it would be called 30.48 meters which is not nearly as scary so bravo for making it here.

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Haunted house guy May 2, 2012 6:29 pm

I live in a haunted house and to be honest its kinda cool. But the chick in this movie...her ghost is a total dick.

Dr. Phil Muhgraven December 30, 2012 1:56 pm

Solid flick! Never heard of it until stumbling across it here- thank you WSMR!

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300 (2006)
Director: Zack Snyder
Starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey
This movie is: SPARTA!

This movie is a slap in the face of emasculated horse shit starring Zack Effron and anything related to Justin Beiber. This movie takes things like that and makes them wear dresses and prance around like sissies. Its a 117 minutes of nitro fueled testosterone that demands you own it on Blu-ray and watch it before big events like asking your boss for a raise or before your fantasy team hits the field on a sunday. This movie should be shown to 8 year olds before the flag football championships. Guys dig it because its brutal and manly, chicks dig it because its got hot shirtless guys in it, gay guys dig it because its got hot shirtless guys in it. Sadly this film is lost on most members of the lesbian community. Nothing is perfect. -- Max Heller

Pairs well with:
The Immortals, God of War video games, bullies in high school

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Spartan July 29, 2012 10:28 am

Fucking owned!

Ephialtes December 5, 2012 1:50 am


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31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
1408 (2007)
Director: Mikael Håfström
Starring: John Cusack, Samuel (“fucking”) L. Jackson and an evil fucking room
This movie is: One of the better King adaptations... no, really

The Doc spent the first half of this one thinking “why the hell don’t I watch this more often?!” and the second half thinking “oh... THAT’s why”... -- Dr Phil Muhgraven

Pairs well with: Any other King flick that builds nicely, then walks away leaving you holding your own IV stand

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1990 The Bronx Warriors (1982)
Director: Enzo G Castellari
Starring: A bunch of Eye-talians oh and Vic Morrow
This movie is: an Epic mashup

Grindhouse cinema at its finest. Equal parts, The Warriors and Escape from New York. Fred Williamson is the King of the Bronx and there is literally a gang that tap dances when they fight. I can't make this stuff up. -- Max Heller

Pairs well with: I'll give you one guess and its not spaghetti dinner….wait actually it does pair well with spaghetti dinner never mind.

No shit: Theres a scene with a cool drum track as the score within minutes you realize the drummer is on screen actually in the scene with no explanation as to why, he's just sitting in a empty parking lot with a small drum kit playing…its amazing.

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